The fall of McDonalds..shit hole of the earth.

 

What is with McDonalds lately? First off what is with all the random freak outs and 911 calls from there? Some woman punched in the drive through window because they were out of chix nuggets. I mean don’t get me wrong I love me so nugs but I would def. not do anytime for them. Fuck, you still don’t get the nugs….just probation. You figure in the fines and you probably spent $700 on some nugs that you didn’t even get. Also there have been random 911 calls from people who are pissed because they ran out of nugs or they didn’t get the right size orange soda. One woman in Kansas City trashed a Mickey don dons because they refused to refund her 80 cents for a hamburger. Apparently she didn’t “like it” after she ate all of it of course. I swear you put a redbox in a fast food joint and it all goes to shit.

 Also what is with them marketing African Americans? Every single commercial or radio ad they have is black people. They are especially pushing the Chicken Selects on them. How Fing racist is that? Black People + cheap chicken = Success…?  Did you know that they actually have a website just for black people…..WTF?

 What happened to McDonalds being partnered up with the Olympics and Monopoly? I grew up thinking all of those gold medalists were so awesome because of all the #1’s and Big Mac’s they ate. Didn’t we all?  And don’t even get me started on the play places. We used to love going to those things. Getting a sweet kids meal and playing with all kinds of kids.

 In all honestly I never let my kid eat that crap. It is garbage and just because they gave you an option of replacing the French fries with sugar filled processed green apples doesn’t make it any better. Not a chance. I tried to take her there once for some French fries as a treat to hang out at the play place…never again. I have never seen so many dirty kids…I mean I have never been to Texas or Mexico. I would imagine them about the same though.

 Also, I didn’t realize that McDonalds play place is also the designated place for single mom’s and kids to meet up with the degenerate dead beat dad. Seriously everyone there was either anxiously waiting for their loser parent to show up or was already there on their supervised visit with their parent. And 8 times out of 10 they never show up and the kid is running around going “mom when is dad coming”?  Fuck man…..why McDonalds? Is it so you can distract your child with chocolate milk shakes and chicken nuggets in case the dead beat doesn’t show?This has got to be it…or only degenerate, poor people eat at McDonalds now.

The age of Organic and Natural food has taken over and parents are starting to actually give a shit about they are putting in their children’s body’s.

But I guess “some people” just don’t give a shit.

Sioux fan out

Tucker Max ain’t got shit on me

So my life is so fucking boring that I have absolutely nothing to write about anymore. The Gophers and the Sioux both suck this year…I can’t write about “Lance” anymore. So yeah…wtf. I could always resort to random thoughts but I was told by a certain someone that my last one sucked balls so there is that. I am trying to not be over the top vulgar but not be a pussy either. I just can’t seem to find my balance hence the hiatus.

Dawger…I mean “Lance” did decide that he was going to steal this cheap ass Target scarf that someone gave me and wear it cause “it looks cool on him”. I have repeatedly called him a fucking idiot but he continues to wear it. I told him between the girl scarf,  the Elmer Fudd hat and the camo vest he was a pussy repellant. But he insisted that he looked awesome. What more can you expect from the wild card I guess.

With the New Year’s resolution starting I plan to be wearing a 2 piece string bikini by this swim suit season. I have officially retired the Ranch bottle and 9 Summits a night. I just hate going to the gym. Especially big ones like I am joining. The majority of people who spend their time in the gym are fucking losers. I am sorry…I am going because I had a child and would like to drop the extra 60lbs at some point but god damn. I honestly do have better things to do in my day then spend 2 hours at the gym gaying out with everyone there. There is always the doucher who spends his time in a cut off tee staring at himself in the mirror doing curls. The middle aged woman in the spandex pants and sports bra trying to act like she is actually working out. The chics that come in with makeup. The dudes spotting each other and sharing their outrageous orange talking about their favorite creatine. There is generally only 2-3 normal people in the entire place. I hate it and the thought of it actually makes me want to go home make a Jacks frozen pizza and smother it in ranch. And sit and watch re runs of man vs. food. Which is one of the best shows ever by the way.

Dudes that go to the gym just really make me want to vomit that is all I am saying. Dudes think that the more in shape you are the hotter girl you will get. WRONG. Listen…..listen very carefully. Hot girls could give a shit less if you have a little 4 pack and toned arms. The hottest thing to a girl is a guy with money. You can be short, bald, fat but if you have a fat pocket book you will have your pick of the litter. Does this make me some kind of gold digger?  No, I live in North Minneapolis I opted for the hot, smart and witty guy (this of course is dependent on the day) because in my opinion all rich guys are fucking losers with zero personality. This just doesn’t do anything for me. But most girls are completely okay with this and don’t respect themselves enough to be more then a trophy wife. Not saying that I would have said issue with being a trophy wife. It is just the doucheness of every guy with money I have ever met and had the displeasure of dating.

Life really is a fucking asshole isn’t it.

Sioux Fan Out

No..I will not go out with YOU.

Dear Mr. Creepy guy who asked me out at Cub Foods-

Hi Mr. Creepy ass man who walked up to me in Cub foods and asked me out. The first thing I noticed about you was that you had in a dangly gold cross earring. This was only the 1^st of many turn offs. You also had hair like you make porno flix in your parents basement. It was very long and flowy…not really my style.

You said that you had never done anything like this before as we sat there in the Organic food section. I have a feeling that is not true, you seemed like you had done this many times before.

I told you that I was flattered (even though I wasn’t) but that I had a child and a boyfriend so I would have to pass. This didn’t seem to bother you that much…you continued to tell me how georg I was. It isn’t so much that this bothers me but why is it always from the creepy guy? The hot guys are NEVER the ones that come straight up and tell you this. So we uncomfortably stood there. ..Me holding a box of Annies organic mac and cheese and you with a Gillette Razor refill. Then you even tried to hug me after I turned you down. Bold move my friend…bold move. You have guts, that is for sure but it will never…EVER happen. I very uncomfortably walked away at this point even though there was more I needed in that isle. Then you creepily followed me around the store for the next 10 mins. Smiley weirdly at me like, I was going to suddenly change my mind.

No I did not change my mind…I am now going to ask for a bag boy to walk me to my car. Thanks for the compliment though!~

Always,
Kaylyn

So yes this did actually happen and this guy was pathetic. I honestly do always feel bad turning guys down. I mean….it obviously gets old. Even when the U of M football player in a Lacoste polo asked me for my number a few weeks ago at pickle park I laughed and felt really embarrassed for him. First off, I was a bit old for him considering he was still in college and I was there with my BF Lance. Not that being there with him made a difference he was belly up at the bar and probably forgot I was even there. I just don’t understand why men try to pick up girls at bars. And in all honesty if you are going to try pick up a girl at a bar at least have the nerve to buy her a drink and not hit on other girls while you’re hitting on her. SO tacky! I myself have never dated a guy that I met at a bar. Guys your lame….grow up.

- Creep on Creeps

Randomness……

One of you asked for it so all of you got it…Random thoughts by Siouxper Sioux Fan

 -Thinks the “Balloon Boys” parents should be thrown in jail THEN get their own reality show. It could be some of them in jail, some of how the kids are doing in the hands of child welfare services, the children bouncing from foster home to foster home. That would actually be pretty entertaining.

-Wife swap is a fantastically awful show. I actually filled out and application to be apart of wife swap. Why?

#1. because you get 20k

#2. I would have an opportunity to be obnoxious on TV

#3 I would then turn around and pay that 20k to see “Lance” with some crazy ass religious woman who didn’t swear and home schooled her children. I think that only then would he appreciate my awesomeness(crudeness).

#4 I would love the opportunity to finally see some “action” on this show and try to hook up with the other husband. Haha You NEVER see this and it is the only thing that could make this show better. Although The Chapelle show did a skit like this so maybe I won’t be able to take full credit for it.

#5 I would love to be paid and encouraged to be straight up crazy.

#6 This could potentially launch my new reality TV career where I get one called -A day in the life with a Sioux Fan(In all honesty my life is actually interesting enough to have my own show).

-Has officially decided that White men that are into Asian woman are just like chubby White woman that like degenerate Black men. It’s exactly the same. Give me one reason why it is not.

-Lance was offended by my above statement. I was offended that he has an Asian fetish and I am a 6’ Blonde Scandinavian.

-Fire balls + milk = Cinnamon milk (you learn this when you grow up broke and never get chocolate or strawberry milk)Gotta get creative kids.

-Am I sick because I think that suicide jokes are funny. I mean like if I joke around about wanting to jab a knife in my face. Does this make me twisted? I feel like it is totally normal. I realize I could be a bit off.

-I think my 2 year old has just surpassed my level of intelligence. Just kidding

-I just did some stupid horoscope thing where you put certain people or song titles next to numbers 1-11 and surprisingly it was DEAD on. Weird

-Thinks that Kangas and Duncan have the same road ahead of them.

-Speaking of Duncan…He was my facebook “Friend of the Day” yesterday! Wow, Lucky him!

-Is happy that Epic finally admitted that the Gophers are NOT in the top rankings of the WCHA but actually more like #5. Way to go Epic. Way to NOT be such a homer. If I had a gold star I would give it to you. But I am not a queer so I don’t…..sorry OWL CITY STILL SUCKS!

-I have a very interesting “Lance” story to tell but it is highly inappropriate even though “Lance” says that he is not embarrassed by what he did. Most of you would be appalled. I know I was.

-Hates when people say “lol”….so fing annoying. I hate it. Are you laughing out loud? Probably not, say “haha” like the rest of us normal people. Liars

- So the new DMB album is awesome! I was not expecting much since I am one of those old school Dave fans. But I was very pleasantly surprised. Way to go Dave. Blue eyes, Lying in the hands of God, You and me together…..great songs seriously check them out.

-Officially started my new diet today. I am going to do it FINALLY. Work running club + the gym + eating healthy = Hot new non plus size bod! Just for some motivation I am going to keep you guys updated on my progress. -Day 1- Undisclosed number of pounds (If it weren’t for Down with Goldy I would put my actual weight but those fuckers would jump at the chance to give me shit so I will keep that to myself)

 -I will be attending my 1st ever Ugly Sweater Party thrown by my good friend Erica! I generally don’t intentionally put myself in situations where I am set up to look like a dipshit. I am not saying that I NEVER look like a dipshit I am sure I do more often then not but I don’t necessarily try. The only thing that makes an ugly sweater party okay is that there are massive amounts of booze to make it better. And the uglier the sweater…. the better. If you are the douche that shows up in just a plain ugly sweater then you are ridiculed and made fun of. Now….if you show up in a green cable sweater decked with a reindeer, bells, santa sleigh, presents you are the best dressed mother there. Now….if you can somehow manage to dig through the thrift store long enough and you find that one gem which is a sweater that is not only ugly as shit but lights up somewhere you will be king of the Ugly Sweaters. This is not necessarily a title I strive to hold.

-Speaking of titles I strive to hold. I still hold the title for the most shrimp eaten in one sitting at Red Lobsters all you can eat Shrimp Fest!!!!!! It is one of the most coveted titles I have ever held. I am hoping to hang onto my title again this year. I honestly don’t think that will be a problem. Popcorn coconut shrimp here I come. Sorry poor Reb Lobster waiter not ONLY does your job suck a serious dick you now have to deal with assholes like me who will order 2 orders of shrimp every 5-10 min. Maybe you should just kill yourself now.

-Suck it Sioux Fan Out

Randomness

Currently…drinking an unnecessarily large Diet Pepsi (24oz) and eating fruit punch frooties. 

 

Sad that I can’t watch my Sioux tonight…..:(

 

Wishing I was hanging out with Grace today. That kid is the shit…seriously don’t ever let anyone tell you that kids can’t be cool because she is.

Although she did slap me in the face this morning when I kissed her head….then she looked at me and very nonchalantly said “sorry mom”.  So I let it slide.

 

Still picking popcorn out of my teeth from the big delicious bowl I had for dinner lastnight.

 

My big plans for the weekend involve….pumpkins…paint….sharp knives and Elmo. Things could get interesting…watch out “Lance”.

 

Periodically looking outside and giving the snow dirty looks. Asshole snow

 

Haven’t argued with my roommate “Gay Lance” yet this week so that is a +

 

Did not get into any fights last weekend during the game even though we destroyed the goof- ups 4-0. So that was awesome. Ended up in Fridley at a bar called Pickle Park with “Lance” and some of his friends. Pickle park is the dumbest fucking name I have ever heard in my life. It is not even worth talking about anymore.

 

Ok…..I found out what the crap Pickle Park is…..thank you Urban Dictonary.

-A truckers term for a roadside rest area where homosexual activity and prostitution occur. Nice..but now it is ACTUALLY gay. 

Wished I was eating some dill pickle chips…the kettle cooked kind not the shitty kind that are cooked in something other then a kettle.

 

Thinks that people in general are Aholes.  Am I an Ahole? Probably

 

Kind of wonders if anyone gives a shit about what I am thinking? Probably not.

 

It is hard to write while also avoiding pissing “Lance” off. I don’t feel like I can be myself…..this angers me. I wish I could punch “Lance” in his stupid gay face. You should see his smirk it is so obnoxious. F you “Lance”….F YOU.

 

Incase you were wondering what I like to watch on tv I have compiled a list for you.

 

1. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia- Def. #1 funniest show ever. I think that I could totally be a character on that show. And “Lance” even says I would be the smartest one! God…that would be a first. Haha Basically if you don’t like this show then you are either retarded or you find no joy in life. Oh and your gay.
2. Nip/Tuck- This show is obviously great. Weird and dark twisted plots…porn stars…lesbians…gays…AC Slater. What more could you ask for in a TV series. I am a big fan but still can’t decided if Shawn is attractive. Some episodes I think so and then some I am like…ehh…not that hot. I am completely undecided.
3. ManVsFood- This show involves some of my favorite things…Food…unnecessary quantities of food…competition…eating…interesting food combinations….Food….also………Food. This is on Wednesdays as well and some how they timed the commercials perfectly with King of the Crown (below) so I can go back and forth! YES!!! BEST THING EVER!
4. Toddlers and Tiaras- Imagine this…4 year olds, crazy stage moms, glitzy outfits, child spray tans, and dancing. This show ROCKS…These kids HATE doing Pageants and their mothers are totally nuts. Spray tanning a child? Fake eyelashes? Okay, I know for a fact that I have a bit of a crazy side but I have not even entered the realm of this kind of crazy. One mom put her 7 year old on an all fruit diet for 3 weeks. WTF? I want to put Grace in pageants with no makeup, no spray tan, no fake eyelashes and watch her kick those little kids asses. She has 10x the personality of anyone kid I have ever seen on there. We may do it…..I will let you know how it turns out.
5. King of the Crown- This show is on Wednesday nights before Nip/Tuck thankfully. It is basically a beauty pageant coach coaching two girls that are in the same competition. I honestly can’t explain to you why I like this show but I do.
6. Summer Heights High-This is an HBO series that has only had 1 season so far. I highly doubt there will be another even though I wish there would be. It is basically this retarded show where 1 guy plays 3 different characters at a school in Brittan. He plays a super funny and gay drama teacher named Mr.G, a delinquent island boy named Jonah, and a snobby private school girl named Jamie. Jonah is my personal favorite but it is hard because I love them all so much. Pretty much pee my pants every time I watch this show. Give me a 2^nd season PLEASE!!!! Has anyone other then me seen this show? I seriously only know 1 and he is related to me.  Also “Lance” thinks it is awful which means I love it!  Puck you miss.

 

Well I have already gotten bored with myself so I am sure you must be also. Shit.

 

Sioux Fan out  

 

 

 

 

Da Da Da Da Da…..HEY GO SIOUX!!!!!!!!!

 

 

OH yes….it is that time. Time to pull out the Sioux Jersey along with my Nodak accent.  It comes on extra thick this time of year ya know. I will be heading over to Joe Sensors in Bloomington with my bestie Erica and my roommate. I am still not allowed to mention him so we will call him “Lance”.  In case you were wondering I chose the name Lance because it is by far the gayest name that I could think of. We play the Gophers tonight which is unusual for the first game of the season but I am not complaining. I wish I was going to be up in GF drinking 72 oz beers but I guess the nearest Sioux bar in the Cities will have to do. I am kind of hoping for an altercation tonight but that is unlikely since Snake won’t be coming out for the fun.  And “Lance” really doesn’t get hot over me getting into fist fights. I still haven’t figured this one out yet……I will get it one day I guess.

I did ask my friend Epic to write the Gopher side of this preview but he is apparently too busy revamping his wardrobe since he was informed yesterday that he was now the #2 best dress guy at LSS next to some newbie that took his place. I know this shook him to his core. I actually thought he was going to cry. I also want to give a shout out to Epic for being the ONLY “straight?” man to really enjoy the gay band Owl City. I guess me being obsessed with four letter lie at my age isn’t all that much better but at least they are a little bit hardcore and they don’t sing about going to the dentist. Anyways you’re left with only SSF’s opinion today. Deal with it.

 

I am sure that your not surprised that I am going to say that the Gopher fans should really be bring their dust pans for all the brooms the Sioux Fans will have. I am predicting a solid sweep here.

 

Game #1 4-1 Sioux

Game #2 5-2 Sioux

 

And to all of you HOMER gopher fans out there…Suck it because it is gonna be a blood bath. I will surely be drinking green beers and screaming “gay” at as many maroon jerseys as possible. Kangas will reclaim his title as the WCHA’s biggest siv and VandeVelde as the biggest goon.  You see the Sioux like goons. And we have some good ones over the years…..Prpich, Green just to name a couple.   

Hakstol will be there looking sexy as ever. God I love that man….wooo! Maybe we can even get another middle finger from him tonight. Wouldn’t that be fantastic!

 

 

Suck it Gopher Fans!

 

-Sioux Fan Out

FLL is tight bacon kid

“someone” is angry with me :) Oops

Well I am no longer allowed to write about “you know who” but that is okay. I got plenty of more interesting things to write about anyways. Sooo….things I am not allowed to talk….my boyfriend, work….well that is about 75% of my life so I will have to get creative.

 

We can talk hockey! Season starts this weekend. First exhibition game is Monday and I am looking forward to a great season as always. They are ranked in the WCHA 1 or 2 depending on who you talk to. People really have a lot of faith in Denver this year which is no big surprise. I obviously am going Sioux #1, Denver #2, Minnesota #8. Yes, I am ranking MN because they are a horseshit hockey club who only recruit little twits that leave after 2 years because they have no idea what the word loyalty is. First mention of a pay check and they are outski. It is sad because that is what I love about college hockey so much is that they are playing for the glory. Yes, I am sure they all have one main goal in common. But I would take a National Championship win over signing with a farm league making $50,000 a year any day of the week.

But that is because a lot of people have no concept of what being a loyal person is. That is what is wrong with most of the world in general not just sports.

 

Anyways…..I want to give a shout out to my boy Epic who is celebrating a birthday this weekend. I am sure it will be filled with argyle sweater vests and 303 cd’s.

 

Hmmm…my next instinct would be to talk about my kid but I would like to keep the few readers that I have so I will come up with something else. You’re especially welcome Epic. What about the Twins season almost being over YAY!!! Woo Hooo!!!! Yippy!!!!

I am sick of freaking baseball I could puke. It is something called OVER KILL. There is a certain someone who happens to reside at my residence who watches every single game and it drives me crazy. I would rather have watched Step Brothers twice a day for the last 6 months then every single boring ass Twins game. Don’t get me wrong I like baseball and I like going to games and eating wonderful Dome Dogs but EVERY game. Sometimes I just want to watch an episode of some awful VH1 reality show. I like that every once in awhile. Some good old fashion American garbage tv.

 

In other good news we got the extension for the Sioux nickname. I am honestly not at all worried about it. I trust that UND will pay out of the ass to keep that name. oh….I think it is that crazy thing called loyalty that we were talking about earlier.  I know many of you may be like what? Loyalty? What on earth is that?

 

Weekend plans:

Babysitting

Desperate housewives marathon

Seeing my sister hopefully

 

Wow! My life is boring as shit. Oh well……

 

Sioux Fan Out