So I think I may start a ongoing post called “annoying moms”. I am stealing it from a blog called People I want to punch in the throat. I mean….it SOUNDS funny but it isn’t that great. I agreed with most of what she had to say but her posts are fucking long and lack tacky tasteless humor. The kind I myself enjoy. She did have a post about “The elf on the shelf”. Our house recieved a dumb ass elf on the shelf this year because the daycare lady has one for her kids. My 4 year old daughter asked why she didn’t get an elf…I was like “fucking a…” So the next day we got “chippy” the elf. I forgot to move him half the time and sometimes had to do it last minute. Some days I told my daughter that he must have been REALLY comfortable in that spot and didn’t want to move. My 1 year old little boy wanted nothing more in the world then to hug chippy and roll around with him no the ground despite the fact that if he did Chippy would lose his magic. He did get manage to get a hold of him once a week before Christmas. My daughter was so hysterical that we had to come up with some dumbass story about how you can reset the elves magic once. UGH…..then to find out that some mom’s have the elves do “naughty things”….
GET A LIFE…..mothers like that make me want to throw myself off the top of a large building after guzzling a liter of Moscato to numb the pain.
Your kids are gonna grow up and think you are a fucking douche. I am sorry but it is true. I am already pretty ashamed of myself for trying to convince my kid that a creepy ass elf watches her every move and reports it to a fat old man. It’s pretty sick actually.
Other moms that annoy the shit out of me are the ones that let their kids hit and abuse other kids or take toys away from other kids with minimal consequences. If my kid pushes another kid ESPECIALLY one smaller than him or her she is getting a FIRM tongue lashing and is taken away from the situation for an extended period of time. I will explain to them that you do NOT hit other kids and if you do that makes you a douche bag bully that no one will want to be friends with….and to stop being a dumb shit..I will tell them that if they want to deal with their anger by hitting then so will I. Put the fear of God in them….and they will not grow up to be little assholes. NOT THAT HARD.
I see SO many parents whom other than this I see as pretty damn good parents..you know that kind of parents that will take the time and effort into having their “elf” make a big mess in the middle of the night..tehhehehe but won’t take 10 minutes out of their day to put their jerk off kids in check.
“oh little Tommy…hitting isn’t nice..okay go back out and play now”.
SERIOUSLY? No wonder there are so many little dicks out there. Bad parenting.
Parents who let their little dick kids run around the park and then sit on their cell phones texting on a near by park bench. Hey..maybe get involved with your kids…play with them. Don’t be a stain parent and maybe your child won’t turn out to be the next Ted Bundy because he has Mommy issues.
Crafty moms…you bother me as well. Mostly because I am not very crafty…I like to do nice things for my kids but crocheting them hats and blankets with adorable monkeys and pandas on them isn’t one of them. I hate you.
Parents who feed their kids meat and take them to circus’. Teach your kids compassion. Teach them to care about other things even if they are smaller and weaker than we are.
